Hello Sandro, I'm Penelope from Eng260, your partner for your research paper draft #1. I went over your paper and made some brief notes that will hopefully help you with the process to your final draft.
I was unable to find your thesis. It was unclear if you were supporting Latino men being machos or if you were against it. The opening needs some work, to allow me to understand where the direction of the paper is heading. The quotes you used were very amusing, "Latin Lover" Terminology and what your sociology professor said.
Each paragraph can separately stand on its own, but you should try working on transitioning sentences to ease into the next paragraph.
With a little more work, you can have a really good and insightful paper. There's a lot to work with in your paper, try rearranging some parts, that should help make it flow nicely.
Check your google docs and/or e-mail(yesterday's date) to see my comments and points for this part of the project.
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ReplyDeleteHello Sandro,
ReplyDeleteI'm Penelope from Eng260, your partner for your research paper draft #1.
I went over your paper and made some brief notes that will hopefully help you with the process to your final draft.
I was unable to find your thesis. It was unclear if you were supporting Latino men being machos or if you were against it. The opening needs some work, to allow me to understand where the direction of the paper is heading.
The quotes you used were very amusing, "Latin Lover" Terminology and what your sociology professor said.
Each paragraph can separately stand on its own, but you should try working on transitioning sentences to ease into the next paragraph.
With a little more work, you can have a really good and insightful paper. There's a lot to work with in your paper, try rearranging some parts, that should help make it flow nicely.
GOOD LUCK!